Vibrators are a great way to explore your body and learn what feels good. They best way to increase your chances of having great sex is by communicating, giving your partner a roadmap. Solo play can be a low-pressure, non-performative, safe and empowering form of self care.
First things First: Internal Vs. External
Internal or 'G Spot' vibrators, are meant to go inside of your vagina and generally have less intense vibrations. These can be used externally as well. Some are designed so that they can be used solo or worn during sex.
External or Clitoral vibrators, are not meant for internal use, and can be as small as your palm or as large as a massage wand. These can be rumbly or buzzy, but tend to be on the more intense or buzzier side.
Vibrators that are made for both internal and external play may be wand shaped, rabbit shaped (internal wand and separate clitoral stimulator), or flexible to be bent for your body.
Most vibrators are great for both Solo and Couple play...
just always ask your partner before pulling it out and be open to answering questions about how it works, and what you like.
Vibrators specifically made for Couples can be worn during sex either internally (vaginally), externally (by fitting between the labia), or around the penis (a ring). Some can be controlled by apps via wifi, for long distance- these may be used internally or externally.
What do we mean when we say "Buzz" and "Rumble"?
Think, the buzz of a bee (hey that's us!) or the purr of a catt. Buzz's are generally more intense, and faster, while rumbles are longer in wavelength and work best (typically) for internal toys.
But, every body is different! If you're less sensitive, and need more stimulation to climax, buzzing toys may be best for you. If you're very sensitive, rumbles could feel better.
NOTE: There are also toys that use suction, puffs of air, and more. The best way to figure out what you like best is through trial and error, but understanding what the lingo means is a great place to start.
What makes a vibrator discreet?
There's nothing shameful or wrong about having or using a vibrator, but some people prefer to keep theirs tucked away.
Size: Wand vibrators can be pretty big, but because of their large surface area coverage, are great for beginners. Some just look like body massagers (hey, technically that's what they are) but others are pretty obviously vibrators, and harder to keep hidden. On the other hand, palm and bullet vibrators are pretty tiny, and can be hidden just about anywhere (just don't lose the little guys!).
Noise: Anybody who has tried to quietly use their vibrator with thin walls or roommates knows the value of a quiet toy. But if you don't need it to be quiet (so what if your neighbors know you're getting off), noise level is certainly not related to effectiveness.
Shape: Some vibrators are pretty obvious, but others are. in the shape of jewelry, lipstick, rubber duckies... Emojibator makes them in the shape of pickles, peppers, and eggplants!
What about desensitization? Will using a vibrator make it harder to get off with a partner?
No. Proof here, here, and here.
It's great to be able to get off in a bunch of different ways, but know that neither partner sex nor using toys will desensitize you long term.